It's 2 weeks before Opening Day and you're still here!! I beg of you on behalf of the Ranger Nation to please leave the country (preferably somewhere where you can't have access to MLB.com) until November.
Why, you ask? I have a lot of reasons but I'll give you just an important few that relates to baseball.
1. From 2002, when you started volunteering at the games, we only did so-so, but as fans, we still loved our Rangers. It wasn't until 2010, when you left for Saudi Arabia, we made it to the World Series. THE. WORLD. SERIES. I don't think that's a coincidence. But when you came back and watched it, they lost.
2. The last season, every time you watched a playoff game, they lost. You're just bad luck.
3. No one likes you.
So anyway, those are my top 3 reasons why you need to leave during baseball season. If you can't, at least give up watching the games. You can watch the Angels instead.... except when they play the Rangers. I'm just saying.