Kids Say The Darnest Things

My little 4 year old cousin was yelling from the back seat, "I want to play Chinese A-Pad." My mom was with me and we kept asking him what he was talking about and he got frustrated that we couldn't understand he was saying. After a while, he kept saying it and finally understood that he said "Chinese iPad." We thought it meant an app that taught him Chinese and he just got frustrated and yelled, "That's not what I said! I said 'Janie's iPad!!'"

I laughed so hard, I had to pull over and let someone else drive.

An Open Letter

Dear Married Asshole,

What part of "leave me alone" do you not get?!? Do I need to say it in a different language? Do you need a remedial class on what "leave me alone" means and all the context?

And we were never friends; so stop claiming we were. You were and always will be the biggest mistake I made in my twenties and I wish I never met you.

Stop saying you want me and that you'll leave your wife for me. You have never shown any other interest other than wanting to feel me up in the middle of lecture and to get in my pants. I'm sick of your lies and you, in general.

I would tell her everything, but you're such a good liar. I bet she even believes you when you tell her you love her, but then you told me the same thing repeatedly.

So please, for God sakes, leave me the fuck alone or I'm telling her. She really deserves to know how much of an asshole you really are.

Hatefully yours,
Me

Morning After App

If it's the morning after app, where the Plan B? SMH.

Taking a Break

I was talking to T-man about the break I took from Ranger buddy.

Me: What's sad is that I already got him his birthday present.

T-Bag: I thought the Ranger panties were the birthday gift. Ha ha.

Me: I also bought him tickets for when the Yankees play here...

T-Bag: Wow, that's legendary girlfriend stuff right there....

Realization

If you leave you inhibitions at home, you have a lot more fun.


XOXO

A Letter

Dear Who-The-F*ck,

You need Jesus. Stop copying me and find your own Lenten sacrifice.

And no more texting about rubbing my butt. It's NOT helping.


XOXO

A Cautionary Tale

Recently, right after my supervisor got fired, I found out a former colleague of mine has a blog out and it named names. Not only did she talk smack about others, but also that she and my (married) former supervisor had an "inappropriate" relationship... with lots of graphic details. Apparently, everyone knew, but me.

Gossip is the reason why I keep my earbuds on at all times at work.

Going back to the matter at hand, why would anyone want to write such private things in a public forum such as the internet? I don't know. If it were me, I'd be really embarrassed if anyone found out about some things of my private life. I'm not some Superhead or an exhibitionist; just a simple woman.

This is why I choose not write the most intimate details of my life. You're not going to find out what I do in bed or who I do it with because that's tacky. If I mention a really good friend, I will use another name for them so people cannot find out who they are and stalk them.

Do I think I'm that fabulous that people will read this in the first place? Absolutely not. This blog is mostly for me as a therapy tool. Sometimes there are something things I just need to air out and yelling isn't an option.

Okay, it's mostly for being the Rangers' fan girl.

Anyway, you like this, read it. I may not be the most interesting person in the world, but like I said, this is for my own therapy.

30?

Yes, it's happening soon. Can't believe it.

If you ask to kiss me before a date, it's not happening.


XOXO