Okay, I admit, I'm an obnoxious nerd who loves Star Wars, cars (especially old muscle cars), will argue out of anything and can cook. So... why am I single and why should I care? Do I really need to lower my standards?
I don't know the answer to the first part of the first question and my friends are starting to wonder if I'm a lesbian (since you know, I love sports... so dumb). Well, I'm straight and while I don't have incredibly high standards, most guys can meet the basics: like baseball and beer and don't stare at my boobs too long. I also like someone who can keep my interest for more than 5 minutes. Bullshit talk bores me and I tune out if all you do is talk about yourself. My cousin seems to think I need to dumb myself down. Yeah, I don't even know how to do that sober.
Should I care about this? Meh. Who cares? While my friends are married with kids (yes, I want that), I'm okay with just my dog. I love my dog. She doesn't let me down like most guys.
I don't find myself all that lonely anyway. I have my family and my friends and to me, that's all I really need.
And for the final question, no, I don't think I should lower my standards FOR ANYONE. That's just plain dumb.
At least I'm not a stalker, passively-aggressively talking/tweeting about me. Obsessed much? Sorry that I don't talk to you. You either:
1) Freak me out and want no part of you.
2) Have a significant other and you continue to bother me.
3) I can't stand to be around you.
Okay, enough of my rambling. Night.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Two Weeks Away. Please Leave.
Dear Ex-friend/lover,
It's 2 weeks before Opening Day and you're still here!! I beg of you on behalf of the Ranger Nation to please leave the country (preferably somewhere where you can't have access to MLB.com) until November.
Why, you ask? I have a lot of reasons but I'll give you just an important few that relates to baseball.
1. From 2002, when you started volunteering at the games, we only did so-so, but as fans, we still loved our Rangers. It wasn't until 2010, when you left for Saudi Arabia, we made it to the World Series. THE. WORLD. SERIES. I don't think that's a coincidence. But when you came back and watched it, they lost.
2. The last season, every time you watched a playoff game, they lost. You're just bad luck.
3. No one likes you.
So anyway, those are my top 3 reasons why you need to leave during baseball season. If you can't, at least give up watching the games. You can watch the Angels instead.... except when they play the Rangers. I'm just saying.
It's 2 weeks before Opening Day and you're still here!! I beg of you on behalf of the Ranger Nation to please leave the country (preferably somewhere where you can't have access to MLB.com) until November.
Why, you ask? I have a lot of reasons but I'll give you just an important few that relates to baseball.
1. From 2002, when you started volunteering at the games, we only did so-so, but as fans, we still loved our Rangers. It wasn't until 2010, when you left for Saudi Arabia, we made it to the World Series. THE. WORLD. SERIES. I don't think that's a coincidence. But when you came back and watched it, they lost.
2. The last season, every time you watched a playoff game, they lost. You're just bad luck.
3. No one likes you.
So anyway, those are my top 3 reasons why you need to leave during baseball season. If you can't, at least give up watching the games. You can watch the Angels instead.... except when they play the Rangers. I'm just saying.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Kids Say The Darnest Things
My little 4 year old cousin was yelling from the back seat, "I want to play Chinese A-Pad." My mom was with me and we kept asking him what he was talking about and he got frustrated that we couldn't understand he was saying. After a while, he kept saying it and finally understood that he said "Chinese iPad." We thought it meant an app that taught him Chinese and he just got frustrated and yelled, "That's not what I said! I said 'Janie's iPad!!'"
I laughed so hard, I had to pull over and let someone else drive.
I laughed so hard, I had to pull over and let someone else drive.
Monday, November 14, 2011
An Open Letter
Dear Married Asshole,
What part of "leave me alone" do you not get?!? Do I need to say it in a different language? Do you need a remedial class on what "leave me alone" means and all the context?
And we were never friends; so stop claiming we were. You were and always will be the biggest mistake I made in my twenties and I wish I never met you.
Stop saying you want me and that you'll leave your wife for me. You have never shown any other interest other than wanting to feel me up in the middle of lecture and to get in my pants. I'm sick of your lies and you, in general.
I would tell her everything, but you're such a good liar. I bet she even believes you when you tell her you love her, but then you told me the same thing repeatedly.
So please, for God sakes, leave me the fuck alone or I'm telling her. She really deserves to know how much of an asshole you really are.
Hatefully yours,
Me
What part of "leave me alone" do you not get?!? Do I need to say it in a different language? Do you need a remedial class on what "leave me alone" means and all the context?
And we were never friends; so stop claiming we were. You were and always will be the biggest mistake I made in my twenties and I wish I never met you.
Stop saying you want me and that you'll leave your wife for me. You have never shown any other interest other than wanting to feel me up in the middle of lecture and to get in my pants. I'm sick of your lies and you, in general.
I would tell her everything, but you're such a good liar. I bet she even believes you when you tell her you love her, but then you told me the same thing repeatedly.
So please, for God sakes, leave me the fuck alone or I'm telling her. She really deserves to know how much of an asshole you really are.
Hatefully yours,
Me
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Taking a Break
I was talking to T-man about the break I took from Ranger buddy.
Me: What's sad is that I already got him his birthday present.
T-Bag: I thought the Ranger panties were the birthday gift. Ha ha.
Me: I also bought him tickets for when the Yankees play here...
T-Bag: Wow, that's legendary girlfriend stuff right there....
Me: What's sad is that I already got him his birthday present.
T-Bag: I thought the Ranger panties were the birthday gift. Ha ha.
Me: I also bought him tickets for when the Yankees play here...
T-Bag: Wow, that's legendary girlfriend stuff right there....
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
A Letter
Dear Who-The-F*ck,
You need Jesus. Stop copying me and find your own Lenten sacrifice.
And no more texting about rubbing my butt. It's NOT helping.
XOXO
You need Jesus. Stop copying me and find your own Lenten sacrifice.
And no more texting about rubbing my butt. It's NOT helping.
XOXO
Thursday, February 17, 2011
A Cautionary Tale
Recently, right after my supervisor got fired, I found out a former colleague of mine has a blog out and it named names. Not only did she talk smack about others, but also that she and my (married) former supervisor had an "inappropriate" relationship... with lots of graphic details. Apparently, everyone knew, but me.
Gossip is the reason why I keep my earbuds on at all times at work.
Going back to the matter at hand, why would anyone want to write such private things in a public forum such as the internet? I don't know. If it were me, I'd be really embarrassed if anyone found out about some things of my private life. I'm not some Superhead or an exhibitionist; just a simple woman.
This is why I choose not write the most intimate details of my life. You're not going to find out what I do in bed or who I do it with because that's tacky. If I mention a really good friend, I will use another name for them so people cannot find out who they are and stalk them.
Do I think I'm that fabulous that people will read this in the first place? Absolutely not. This blog is mostly for me as a therapy tool. Sometimes there are something things I just need to air out and yelling isn't an option.
Okay, it's mostly for being the Rangers' fan girl.
Anyway, you like this, read it. I may not be the most interesting person in the world, but like I said, this is for my own therapy.
Gossip is the reason why I keep my earbuds on at all times at work.
Going back to the matter at hand, why would anyone want to write such private things in a public forum such as the internet? I don't know. If it were me, I'd be really embarrassed if anyone found out about some things of my private life. I'm not some Superhead or an exhibitionist; just a simple woman.
This is why I choose not write the most intimate details of my life. You're not going to find out what I do in bed or who I do it with because that's tacky. If I mention a really good friend, I will use another name for them so people cannot find out who they are and stalk them.
Do I think I'm that fabulous that people will read this in the first place? Absolutely not. This blog is mostly for me as a therapy tool. Sometimes there are something things I just need to air out and yelling isn't an option.
Okay, it's mostly for being the Rangers' fan girl.
Anyway, you like this, read it. I may not be the most interesting person in the world, but like I said, this is for my own therapy.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Baseball Season is *Officially* Over
Okay, I know it’s been over since last month BUT Cliff Lee was a free agent then. Now he’s gone to the Phillies, it’s all bittersweet. He didn’t go to the Rangers but at least he didn’t go to the stupid Skankees… I mean, Yankees.
And now I’m being treated like I’m on suicide watch. Seriously? I’m going to be fine and my friend who works for the Rangers might get a Christmas bonus now.
Until April 1st….
GO.... EVERYBODY ELSE!!!
XOXO
And now I’m being treated like I’m on suicide watch. Seriously? I’m going to be fine and my friend who works for the Rangers might get a Christmas bonus now.
Until April 1st….
GO.... EVERYBODY ELSE!!!
XOXO
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Happy Birthday, Mr. Wilson
In honor of CJ Wilson’s 30th birthday today, here is my top fb conversation of the day.
Me: It’s your husband’s (CJ Wilson) birthday today. What are you going to do to celebrate it?
Her: I know! I’m celebrating by staying sober! ;)
Me: GINGER ALE!! I didn’t know he’s a mere 3 months older than I am. Pretty cool.
Gay him: Toss him out in front of a race car!!
Me: That’s mean. If you did that, who’s going to smolder from the pitcher’s mound to Her office?
Her: Yeah!!! What the heck?!? Why would you stop such a beautiful thing?!?
Me: It’s your husband’s (CJ Wilson) birthday today. What are you going to do to celebrate it?
Her: I know! I’m celebrating by staying sober! ;)
Me: GINGER ALE!! I didn’t know he’s a mere 3 months older than I am. Pretty cool.
Gay him: Toss him out in front of a race car!!
Me: That’s mean. If you did that, who’s going to smolder from the pitcher’s mound to Her office?
Her: Yeah!!! What the heck?!? Why would you stop such a beautiful thing?!?
Friday, November 12, 2010
Dating and Technology
I went on a blind date recently. Nice enough guy, not typically who I go for and I usually can overlook this. Here's the problem.
Me: I'll text you sometime.
Him: Sorry, I don't text.
Ladies and gentleman, I think I found the man who still lives in the early 2000s.
I'll admit it, I'm techie shallow. I can overlook the fact he's a little naive in the dating world and that he's a single dad and a perfectly nice man.
Texting is a whole different story. I mean, I can't make outside phone calls at work. I don't even make plans by calling anymore. Since the smartphone age, I've been planning events and dates from my phone from simple Texting to creating invites from an iPhone app. If I really wanted to, I can sign up for a dating site from my phone during lunch.
But actual calling? I only do that for job interviews and emergencies or if I really need to talk to my bff. I'll call my mother every once in a while, but even then she prefers Texting.
I know I'm wrong in this, but I can't call to chit chat with dates anymore. I'm a techie kind of girl and that's who I'll be for a while. Step up or step off. Just make sure you text first.
Me: I'll text you sometime.
Him: Sorry, I don't text.
Ladies and gentleman, I think I found the man who still lives in the early 2000s.
I'll admit it, I'm techie shallow. I can overlook the fact he's a little naive in the dating world and that he's a single dad and a perfectly nice man.
Texting is a whole different story. I mean, I can't make outside phone calls at work. I don't even make plans by calling anymore. Since the smartphone age, I've been planning events and dates from my phone from simple Texting to creating invites from an iPhone app. If I really wanted to, I can sign up for a dating site from my phone during lunch.
But actual calling? I only do that for job interviews and emergencies or if I really need to talk to my bff. I'll call my mother every once in a while, but even then she prefers Texting.
I know I'm wrong in this, but I can't call to chit chat with dates anymore. I'm a techie kind of girl and that's who I'll be for a while. Step up or step off. Just make sure you text first.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Love is...
Someone said that love is just a chemical reaction. I agree.
I was perfectly fine, cold and rain and all. That was until I saw one of my first loves whom I haven't seen in 12 years. My heart went pitter patter.
It kinda sucked and now I'm eating a tub of ice cream. Ugh.
XOXO
I was perfectly fine, cold and rain and all. That was until I saw one of my first loves whom I haven't seen in 12 years. My heart went pitter patter.
It kinda sucked and now I'm eating a tub of ice cream. Ugh.
XOXO
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Texas Ranger Prayer
Our Nolan, who art in the stands, hallowed be thy name. Thy Rangers come, thy will be done, to score against the Yankees as they play. Give us this day, our awesome Hamilton play, and forgive the fake Yankee fans who just suck as we give a Ventura sized ass whooping for those who trespass us. And lead us to a win. AMEN!!
RANGERS!!!
RANGERS!!!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
I've Been An Asshole
Yes, I know it's been almost a full month since my last post. What can I say? I'm a busy girl! Ha! In all honesty, I used to be able to write these things everyday. Maybe my life was a soap opera back then? I don't know. All I know is I'm pretty much a boring asshole as of late.
Where should I start? Hmmmm... Ranger baseball is my obsession. There. I said it. I pretty much kept this quiet for the past 20... 22 years? Don't know why. Apparently, guys like a girl who loves sports. But yeah, I've been going to games this past year with a few people (one that I will talk about a little bit later) and they have been fun, win or lose. I just pray they win Tuesday with another battle of the badass pitchers, but we all know Lee > Price.
Also took that Foreign Service exam last Monday. Not too bad, but the essay portion was way too short. I hope I did okay anyway. On to writing this essay for my teaching alternative application.
Love life? Non-existent, but you wouldn't know it if I text and email you constantly. Who the hell talks face to face anymore? I'm having to deal with that right now. He won't tell me over the phone or text, but he said it's a good thing. My stomach hurts in anticipation. Also, why would a guy send me his number with the subject of "drunk text" and he has a fiancee? Makes no sense. I give up.
I'm hoping to see one or two of my bffs this week. One later tonight and one at the fair. I miss my girls!!
Until next time.
Where should I start? Hmmmm... Ranger baseball is my obsession. There. I said it. I pretty much kept this quiet for the past 20... 22 years? Don't know why. Apparently, guys like a girl who loves sports. But yeah, I've been going to games this past year with a few people (one that I will talk about a little bit later) and they have been fun, win or lose. I just pray they win Tuesday with another battle of the badass pitchers, but we all know Lee > Price.
Also took that Foreign Service exam last Monday. Not too bad, but the essay portion was way too short. I hope I did okay anyway. On to writing this essay for my teaching alternative application.
Love life? Non-existent, but you wouldn't know it if I text and email you constantly. Who the hell talks face to face anymore? I'm having to deal with that right now. He won't tell me over the phone or text, but he said it's a good thing. My stomach hurts in anticipation. Also, why would a guy send me his number with the subject of "drunk text" and he has a fiancee? Makes no sense. I give up.
I'm hoping to see one or two of my bffs this week. One later tonight and one at the fair. I miss my girls!!
Until next time.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Trying to Salvage
Tonight, I thought of him again. I don't want to, but he crept in my mind. I know this is going to be an ongoing topic, considering it took up most of my 20s.
With just a little less than 6 months left of my 20s, I'm trying to salvage them. I know, I really should just have fun, but I feel like I really need to live now. Just recreate them the way it should have been done.
I don't know.
With just a little less than 6 months left of my 20s, I'm trying to salvage them. I know, I really should just have fun, but I feel like I really need to live now. Just recreate them the way it should have been done.
I don't know.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
A Letter
Dear you,
I don't know why you insist on trying to text me. Didn't our last conversation ended in me calling you a jackass? I still stand by that statement.
Please don't text me again. If you do, I'll just ignore it. I don't like to be associated with self centered jackasses.
Thank you.
XOXO
I don't know why you insist on trying to text me. Didn't our last conversation ended in me calling you a jackass? I still stand by that statement.
Please don't text me again. If you do, I'll just ignore it. I don't like to be associated with self centered jackasses.
Thank you.
XOXO
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